Harley's rage
by DarkPheonix 666
Summary: Harley's period has arrived and the Joker chooses the wrong day to piss her off so he is now suffering the wrath of Harley's inner rage! HarleyxJoker (Batman Adventures)
1. Chapter 1

Harley lay on the bed limply she was tired and exhausted plus fed up and in pain. Her period had arrived and she felt like shit and was in no mood for being yelled at or going on another heist she just wanted to sleep or take a long hot bubble bath. She knew this meant NO heists, NO scheming and above all NO sex; I mean she did love to be held by her beloved Mistah J but she wasn't ready to become a parent as of yet.

"Peace and quiet at least I can have a nice nap" she said in a relieved tone and closed her eyes curling under the blanket. Her hair was lose and a little wavy after removing it from plaits she had in earlier that day; she was wearing a pale pink v front vest top with 2 buttons undone so her bust line showed and some black shorts that ended under her butt.

A good 20 minutes later Harley's peaceful nap was disturbed by the loud yell of the Joker calling her and boy was he mad but she too was in no mood for his crap today so she didn't answer him and tried to get back to sleep. She heard the Joker storming upstairs and towards their room and he slammed open the door furiously shattering her last ounce of patience with him.

"HARLEY DID YOU NOT HEAR ME CALLING YOU!?" the Joker snapped viciously his eyes dark and cold.

Harley opened her eyes crossly and slowly raised herself and turned to face him her big azure eyes hard and angry.

The Joker saw the anger in her eyes and the pulsing vein on her temple and felt a little afraid I mean he'd seen her tantrums and sulks but this was a whole new experience for him "H...Harley?" he said nervously.

"I was trying to SLEEP Puddin" she said darkly getting up from the bed "I try hard NOT to disturb YOU when you're busy but YOU can't RESPECT my naptime" she said cracking her knuckles.

The joker laughed nervously backing away from the bed "N...Now Harley-Girl daddy's sorry" he said fear hinting in his tone.

"You will be...IF YOU DONT GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Harley raged throwing a hairdryer, Hairbrush and a drawer at him angrily.

The Joker quickly closed the door to escape her wrath "What the hell is her problem I better call the weed to find out" he sighed crossly walking to his office.

**_In Joker's office_**

"Hello?" Ivy said casually down the other side of the phone.

"Hey weed it's me J" The Joker said in a teasing manner.

"Oh it's the clown what do you want?" Ivy said crossly not pleased that he of all people had called her.

"Aw c'mon is that any way to speak to an old friend" he teased with his usual comical laugh.

"YOU a FRIEND! HA don't make me laugh the only one I care about is HARLEY!" Ivy snapped down the phone.

"Since we're on the subject Harls has been acting weird since I got home and I haven't done a thing at least I don't think I have" the Joker said frustratedly.

"Ok gimme the basics and I'll try to be of help" Ivy sighed crossly.

The joker sighed heavily "Let's see she's been a right bitch with her temper, she's been eating the craziest shit like fish custard and Pork taco's all of a sudden" he muttered irritably.

"Ok big boy it's simple Harley's on her period" Ivy groaned heavily down the phone.

"What!? Oh SHIT seriously do you KNOW how long those things last!?" The Joker snapped crossly.

He heard Ivy chuckle down the phone "Not my problem clown boy have fun...oh and tread carefully around Harls for now" she teased then hung up.

The Joker groaned heavily "Shit it just had to be her period" then peered at his picture of Harley "This is gonna be a long week" he sighed slamming his head on his desk.


	2. C2: Coping or suffering?

Dr. Nina Sharp sat at her desk with a fearful yet stressed expression. She worked as a therapist to help people with their problems and was used to the whole scenario by now but was concerned about her next two patients; THE JOKER and HARLEY QUINN a.k.a DR HARLEEN QUINZELLE.

Suddenly the door opened and a tall pale figure with black eyes and white dots for pupils entered. He wore his hair in a curled back 7 shape making it sleek and sexy But his skin was bleached white with a hint of a demonic blue tint. He wore a green blouse along with a large purple bowtie and on top of that a matching purple waist jacket with a green flower in the right pocket. To match he wore a pair of purple trousers and a pair of black and white tap shoes; his hands were covered by a pair of white wrist gloves.

The figure smiled a huge grin flashing his pearly white teeth "Nice to meet you Doc I'm The Joker but you can call me J" he said in a charming voice.

"MISTAH-J ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH THAT WOMAN!" A pissed off voice shrieked from behind him. A young woman entered the room wearing a black and red Harlequin costume with a matching hat, neckpiece and cuffs. She wore white face paint but had added black lipstick and a black face mask.

"Now Harley calm down I was just saying hello" The Joker said nervously backing away from her. Usually from what Dr. Sharp had heard it was usually the other way around but as of late Harley was the one in charge due to The Joker being afraid of her.

Dr. Sharp coughed loudly to get their attention "If you could please take a seat on the sofa chair in front of you we can start" she said sternly but with a polite tone. The pair did as they were told so they would not get kicked out but she could already sense the tension. She took a deep breath "My name is Dr. Nina Sharp and I will be helping you with your problems today and if you wish you may come back to visit in the future" she said professionally.

Nina sharp was a very pretty young woman but was also very intelligent and prepared for what the Joker had up his sleeve mainly from reading Harley Quinzelle's back-story in files. She had straight shoulder length brown hair tied up into a ponytail and fastened with a steel band with a 2 shoulder length front partings. Her eyes were dark brown and shone in the sun. Her bust was at least 33DD in size making her look very sexy for a doctor but she made it her duty NEVER to flirt with patients merely to help them. She was wearing a black turtleneck vest and white trousers with a pair of black high heels. She wore a silver cross necklace that hung between her breasts; she was also wearing red lipstick but only because she wanted to look nice.

Dr. Sharp looked to The Joker "Why don't you start Mr Joker?" she said politely clicking her pen nib and raising her clipboard. She smiled kindly as if to encourage him to spill his secrets which did the trick.

"Ever since I turned her into my sidekick she's done nothing but annoy the hell out of me and not give me a moments peace" The Joker grumbled crossly.

"Explain in detail" Dr. Sharp said jotting down notes quickly.

"Well if I have another blueprint on a crime I wish to commit or a plot to destroy Batman she'll come bursting into my office and start bothering me nonstop until I kick her out!" The Joker said irritably.

"I see did you ever consider explaining to her that your busy or to go something else" Dr. Sharp said thoughtfully trying to be helpful.

The Joker chuckled "Try a million times but she still doesn't listen It takes brute force to get the point across that I'm in no mood to fool around" he said sounding pissed off about the last part.

"Ok then I'll turn to Harley for a second but thank you for that" Dr. Sharp said politely then got some clean paper placing her previous notes in a separate file. She turned to Harley with a smile "Ok Miss Quinn now tell me your troubles to do with work" she said kindly.

Harley moaned "Geez where do I start doc first there's the Batso and then I keep getting locked in Arkham all the time but Mistah J never bails me out not like I do for him a gazillion times before" she said crossly.

"I see and how does that make you feel" Dr. Sharp said curiously.

Harley pouted "It makes me feel unwanted like Mistah-J don't appreciate how hard try and that BATMAN keeps getting in our way" she said irritably.

Dr Sharp nodded and finished writing "Ok Thank you Harley for that, now I want to dig into more PERSONAL feelings about how you feel about each other and how their actions make you feel" she said sternly then turned to The Joker "You first Joker" she said smiling.

The Joker went quiet he had never really said much about his personal feelings because it was HARD for him. His life had been so fucked up that he believed no one would understand how he felt inside. He sighed heavily running a gloved hand through his hair "I don't HATE Harley just the shit she does like bother me when I'm working or pull gags when that's my job but sometimes they can be quite funny" he said twiddling his fingers.

Harley was stunned she had never heard her Puddin say this before and it was quite touching and she felt like crying but she didn't want to spoil her make-up and besides she wanted to hear what else he had to say.

Dr. Sharp smiled pleased at the progress they were making "And what else?..." she said hoping for more.

The Joker smiled to himself "I do sort of love how Harley's eyes sparkle when she's happy or excited and her pretty blonde hair in those cute schoolgirl bunches plus her peppy and innocent personality is rather funny and sweet" he chuckled.

Dr. Sharp felt happy to hear this "And Harley what do you love about your beloved Mistah J or The Joker" she said kindly.

Harley became very serious and thoughtful then said "I do love his toned body and how mysterious yet scary he looks when he's working" she started making the Joker thoughtful and pleased. Harley smiled "I also love his smile, his laugh but most of all his crazy personality that can sometimes turn really sweet when he wants to" she sighed lovingly.

Dr. Sharp looked confused "So from the sounds of it you both care deeply for one another so do you why fight so much?" she asked. The pair frowned and looked pissed off making Dr. Sharp regret her question and feel stupid.

The Joker tightened his grip on his crossed arms "She smothers me in too much affection and doesn't respect my personal space" he grumbled.

Harley became sulky "He don't hold me or be affectionate he just sits at his desk and works all day" she sniffed tearfully to which Dr. Sharp passed her hankies "Thanks doc" she said appreciatively.

Dr. Sharp sat for a minute to think about what to say these 2 crazy clown lovers were really fucked up but obviously cared for one another but had a hard time gesturing their feelings then came up with an idea "Ok here's my theory" she said smiling cleverly.

"Ok throw it at us doc" The Joker said smiling again.

"Please give us some advice!" Harley begged her eyes huge and desperate.

Dr. Sharp turned to The Joker "Joker you can continue with your foiling Batman and scheming and try LOCKING the door so Harley can't enter and bother you" she suggested.

The Joker rubbed his chin "Hmm didn't try that I always thought she'd be smart enough to get the message across" he thought.

"But...When it comes to more personal matters show Harley more affection she OBVIOUSLY adores you but you don't spend much time with her" Dr. Sharp suggested.

The Joker groaned but knew she was right "Ok I'll try it" he grumbled.

Dr. Sharp smiled "That's what I like to hear now Harley as for you..." she said turning to face her.

"Yes?" Harley said smiling cheerfully.

"Harley when The Joker is working give him some personal space and only disturb him if it's VERY important and try not to be so clingy unless it's the bedroom" Dr. Sharp said winking at the last part.

Harley smiled "OK DOC! I'll do my best to make Mistah J happy" she cried.

Dr Sharp smiled "Ok that's our session over please feel free to come again" she said politely.

Harley took hold of her lovers arm "C'mon Puddin lets go home I'll Iron your suits and give you an awesome blowjob" she cooed blushing at the last part.

The Joker smiled "Sure thing Pooh and I'll finish my blueprints then fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk for a week" he said stroking her cheek.

The pair walked out saying sweet words to one another but after they left Dr. Sharp sighed exhaustedly "Jesus Christ what a pair of fucking loonies!".


	3. Eternal suffering of the demented mind

The Joker and Harley were yet again pulling another bank heist and instead of just her pulling the weight of lifting the henchmen were doing it due to her "Monthly visitor" to which they didn't argue due to her beating them half to death last time with her mallet.

"Y'know Pumpkin you've seemed really on edge recently you feeling ok?" The Joker said although he knew bad moods came with this so called problem.

"Just peachy Puddin" Harley grumbled crossly although he could see her cheeks were flushed under her white face paint.

Suddenly the ceiling gave way and Batman appeared yet again before them with a cold and angry look on his face. He had batgirl with him this time as Tim was home with Alfred due to injuring himself in training.

"Oh great the party pooper showed up" The Joker groaned crossly clenching his fists.

"You're going down Joker" Batman said coldly but before he could approach him he was slammed in the face and sent flying by Harley's mallet.

The Joker stood where he was his mouth hanging open in shock, disbelief and amazement "Harley? what the hell? Where did that come from?" The Joker said impressed.

Harley ignored his comment and approached Batman with a fierce look "I just wanted this heist to go smoothly, NO PROBLEMS is that TOO MUCH to ask for?!" Harley raged angrily.

"Quinn just stop The Joker is just using you snap out of this!" Batman said getting to his feet.

Harley breathed sharply "Well I was gonna be nice but since you won't just back off..." she said raising her hammer again then smashed him in the face this time knocking him out and sent him flying into a desk this time then hollered with laughter "Sweet dreams Batsy!".

The 2 clowns made their escape but The Joker was still stunned by Harley's display of pure strength and rage plus the way she had easily beat the shit out of Batman and taken him out.

Harley saw his blank yet stunned look "Something wrong Puddin?" she said casually with a confused look.

The Joker shook his head snapping himself out of his trance "It's just...I think I've taken you for granted all these years Harls what I SAW back there was nothing short of PURE rage and power!" he said still amazed as he remembered it.

Harley smiled "Puddin you're the one who taught me all the tricks and gimmicks you just never knew what I was capable of till now" Harley said kissing his cheek and winking.

**_At Lair_**

Harley sat on the bed wearing a white vest top that ended above her stomach and a pair of black pants. She had removed her hair from their usual bunches so it could relax for a while and it was a bitch to sleep with.

The Joker entered the room smirking deviously his eyes shining "I like that outfit Harley girl" he chuckled licking his lips.

"Thanks Puddin did ya want something?" Harley asked innocently batting her big blue eyes at him and placing down her magazine.

"Fancy a cuddle?" The Joker said smiling widely and sat on the edge of the bed to which Harley as per usual leapt into his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Harley breathed in his scent and ran one hand through his hair "You smell so nice Puddin I love your scent" she sighed happily.

The Joker reached one hand lower and grabbed her butt but before he could continue Harley pushed him away annoying him "Harley are you trying to be a tease coz its working" he chuckled.

Harley had a worried look but very serious "Puddin we can't!" she said in a panicked tone.

The Joker became annoyed by this but was convinced she was still teasing him "Ok Harley it was funny at first but I've had enough of the playing around now" he said sternly trying to give an air of authority.

"Look Puddin I can see your mad but I MEAN it we CAN'T have sex!" she said clenching her fists and waited for him to lose it.

"Explain your reason" The Joker said breathing heavily his eyebrow twitching crossly.

"Because I know you don't want kids and if you came inside me now I would DEFINATELY get pregnant" Harley said wriggling nervously.

There was a long silence and Harley felt nervous that he would blame her for being a girl and backhand her but instead he just got up and left the room making his way to office to which she breathed a sigh of relief.

After he left Harley started crying "I'm sorry Puddin...I REALLY am" Harley wept feeling guilty that she couldn't satisfy his sexual needs and that she was going through so much pain.

**_Downstairs_**

The Joker was in his study with his elbow rested on his desk and his chin perched on the back of his hands. He was thinking deeply about what had just gone on upstairs then after about 10-15 minutes he frowned crossly and yelled "FUUUUCK!" loudly awakening the hyena's.

He WANTED Harley's body so bad but he was willing to risk having kids he just wasn't ready for that yet he had too many plots to destroy Batman first. Oh well he would have to just make do with locking himself in his study again and getting off on internet porn sights and playboy magazines. The Hyena's approached him panting happily and chuckling to which he rubbed their heads in a loving gesture "Lucky for you boys you don't suffer monthly bullshit" he chuckled to himself.

**_that evening_**

The Joker sat in bed reading a comic on 2 guys beating the shit out of each other constantly and getting hurt which he found reasonably amusing. It was nothing compared to his jokes though they were REAL smashers that nobody could compete with.

He heard retching noises and groaning coming from the bathroom for a long period of time then a flush of the loo and then the sink running and gargling. About 10-15 minutes later Harley appeared her face flushed and looking tired and weak.

"Hey Puddin" Harley moaned weakly as she entered the room and then climbed into bed and lay on her side exhaustedly.

The Joker never usually concerned over Harley that much but she looked AWFUL so he decided to investigate so he turned her onto her back gently and was rather shocked at her appearance.

Her face was pale but her cheeks were flushed red, she was shaking a little and very weak. she looked tired and not just average tired; like she had just taken on 50 of the old Bat face's at once.

"Harley girl you look awful" The Joker said hinting an edge of worry and felt her forehead "Damn you have a fever" he sighed and got up to get some ice. He came back a while later and placed it on her forehead and climbed back into bed.

"Thanks Puddin I appreciate it" she said smiling weakly.

"Not a problem Pooh but I must say this womanly problem of your takes a toll on you" He said ruffling her hair.

"Yeah I swear I just emptied a week's worth of food from my system" she groaned crossly.

"Poor Harley so mother nature has decided to punish you eh?" he said stroking her cheek.

"Yeah must be a curse for loving a Psychopathic clown" she giggled.

The Joker smiled Harley was an annoying bitch sometimes but she said the sweetest things sometimes that made him smile genuinely rather than an evil grin. "Then my curse must be for being a Psychotic clown genius who loves his Physician turned clown girl" he chuckled and kissed her cheek.


	4. C4: Harley's new diet

Harley sat in the kitchen eating her latest fad of peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Usually she hated peanuts all together but this was delicious.

Suddenly The Joker came into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee then stopped and turned to Harley "Um...Harls?" he said looking surprised and somewhat confused.

"Yeah Puddin?" she said chewing her food and smiling sweetly.

"I don't want to upset you but didn't you tell me you HATED anything to do with peanuts" he said staring at her food.

"I did?...Huh well this tastes great to me" she said shrugging and continued eating.

"I see...I'll be in my office" he said taking his coffee and a doughnut to his office and rang up Ivy.

**_in office_**

"_Hello?" _Ivy said sleepily down the other side of the phone.

"Yo weed its Joker" The Joker said sighing heavily.

Ivy sighed heavily _"You do realize its 3:00 am" _she said sounding peeved.

The Joker ran his fingers through his hair crossly "Yeah I was aware of the time" he said crossly.

_"So what did you want anyway?" _Ivy said casually.

"Its Harley she's eating PEANUTS in a sandwich and she HATES them!" he said in a confused and worried tone.

Ivy laughed down the phone loudly _"Joker you fool! Harley is CRAVING it's a natural process that happens during the period" _she said trying not to laugh again.

"Oh great yet more trouble well Harley will at least be safe to fuck now that she's halfway through her period" he said sounding relieved.

_"Ok but don't you DARE be rough she'll be REALLY tender due to her period but she won't be able to get pregnant as easily now" _Ivy said firmly.

"Yes ma'am" The Joker groaned and hung up the phone.

**_Later_**

Harley sat on the bed wearing a white blouse and pink lace panties but no bra. Her hair was in a messy bun at the back of her head. She was reading a magazine on the latest fashions in stores.

"Hey pooh how are you feeling?" The Joker said smiling at her.

"Um...better thanks Puddin" she said quietly then went back to her magazine and then looked up at him "Mistah-J what happened you look happier than normal today" she said curiously.

The Joker smirked and approached the bed and then sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the magazine from her hands and threw it to the floor.

"Hey I was reading that!" Harley cried tying to grab it but The Joker grabbed her left wrist.

"Ah ah ah naughty girl trying to escape" he said grinning widely.

Harley felt a shiver of fear run down her spine "Puddin what are you up to?" she said nervously.

"I KNOW Harley...You are no longer in DANGER of pregnancy now" he said a naughty twinkle in his eyes.

Harley felt her heart race beneath her chest "H...How did you find out?" Harley said nervously.

"I called the weed and she told me" The Joker teased and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

Harley tried to fight back but eventually found herself wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. She had MISSED his embrace but had held back for HIS sake to prevent any troubles that could have occurred.

The Joker pulled away afterwards and smiled "You really WERE holding back weren't you" he chuckled.

Harley's eyes filled with tears and she clung to him "Please HOLD ME Puddin I MISSED your touch" she sobbed.

The Joker smirked "As if I would say no when you put on such a cute face" he chuckled.

**_afterwards_**

The Joker was laid on his back with one arm behind his head to rest upon "I SOOO needed that what about you Pooh?" The Joker cooed to Harley. His chest was uncovered by the sheet but his lower groin and legs were covered.

Harley was resting upon The Joker's chest her upper torso was uncovered but from her waist down she was covered up. Her hair was lose and somewhat messy from their romp but it made her look even sexier "I REALLY enjoyed that Mistah-J" she said fondly.

"I'm glad Pooh I missed this" he said fondly and kissed her lovingly.

Harley smiled "I love you Puddin" she said lovingly.

The Joker smiled "Aw Harls you say the sweetest things" he said lovingly.


End file.
